CI-NC1_P: U1 L2 Interactive Resource: Page 03 | Plataforma Educativa Policial

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Level C1

Understanding how to express approval and disapproval is essential in cross-cultural communication. However, just as important is knowing how to react when our opinions or concerns are not well received. In the situation at the Cartagena bar, Anna and Michael initially disapproved of the waiter’s expressions, but their reaction could have escalated into a conflict if it hadn’t been handled correctly. Lieutenant Gomez’s intervention played a crucial role in shifting the conversation from tension to understanding.

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The Role of Tone and Body Language

Language is more than just words; tone and body language play a significant role in how approval or disapproval is perceived.

A neutral or warm tone helps keeping the conversation open and non-confrontational.
Facial expressions and gestures can reinforce or soften a message. A slight smile while expressing disapproval can indicate that the intention is not to offend but to communicate a concern.
Eye contact can show sincerity, but in some cultures, prolonged eye contact may be seen as aggressive.

At first, Anna’s tone was firm when she said:

"Excuse us, but we found the waiter’s words inappropriate. We are customers, not close friends!"

If her tone had been harsher or her body language more defensive (crossed arms, frowning), the bar manager might have reacted defensively rather than trying to explain.

However, Michael took a slightly different approach. While he also disapproved the situation, he chose to ask a question instead of making a direct accusation:

"Oh, so it’s not offensive? In our country, such words are only used between partners or close friends."

By phrasing his disapproval as a question, Michael created an opportunity for dialogue rather than confrontation. This approach helped de-escalate the situation and allowed the bar manager to clarify the cultural difference.

Softening Disapproval Through Language

Disapproving something doesn’t always have to be direct. Using softening language can make disapproval sound less harsh and more constructive. Some strategies include:

Using modal verbs ("might," "could," "would")

"That might not be the best way to approach this."
"I would have preferred a different approach."

Adding uncertainty ("I think," "It seems," "It appears")

"I think this could be interpreted differently."
"It seems like this might not be appropriate in some contexts."

Using indirect expressions

Instead of saying: "This is wrong."
Say: "I’m not sure if this is the best way to handle it."

These strategies can help to avoid unnecessary conflict while still expressing disagreement. If Anna had said:

"We’re a bit surprised by the way we were addressed. Is this a common practice here?"

the situation might have started on a more positive note.

When Disapproval Turns Into a Learning Opportunity

Lieutenant Gomez’s response was a perfect example of how disapproval can be transformed into an opportunity for understanding. Instead of simply correcting Anna and Michael, he used mixed conditionals to explain how cultural upbringing influences perception:

"If you had grown up here, you would know that these expressions are a common way to make customers feel welcome."

This sentence is structured as a mixed conditional, which combines a past hypothetical condition ("If you had grown up here") with a present hypothetical result ("you would know"). This structure helped the German tourists reflect on how their own cultural background shaped their reaction.

Later, the bar manager reinforced this point by saying:

"If you had asked before reacting, we would have been happy to explain."

Again, this mixed conditional emphasizes how a past action (or inaction) could have influenced a different present outcome.

Key Takeaways

Tone and body language play a crucial role in how approval and disapproval are received.
Softening language can help express disapproval without creating conflict.
Asking questions instead of making accusations can turn a disagreement into a productive conversation.
Mixed conditionals are useful for explaining how past experiences or decisions influence the present.

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